Burning out and getting back on that creative horse!
It has been such a busy 6 months, I feel like it has whizzed by in a bit of a blur! After my first tentative art fair in March I learnt so much and had so many plans and ideas that I wanted to put in place for my next art fairs in the September and October. It was such a positive experience and a big learning curve, and it became my main focus throughout the spring, summer and into the autumn.
I worked hard balancing the kiddies and creating new work and everything else that I needed to do and I loved it! I loved having that focus of working towards something, I loved being busy, I loved creating. But after? The deadline was gone and to be honest I felt pretty exhausted and a little burnt out.
Looking back I put a lot of pressure on myself to ‘step up’ for the September art fair. I wanted to create a whole new body of work that sat coherently together which included several large pieces that take so many hours to plan and realise.
Saying that, I thoroughly enjoyed getting lost in the detail when working on these and I felt super proud when they were framed and excited about exhibiting them at the fairs.
All of the hard work getting ready for the Art Fairs was just the start, it was then time to display my work in my stand ready for the Private View evening and a weekend of meeting and talking to other artists, visitors and potential buyers, which is pretty tiring in itself.
The art fair weekends went really fast and there was such a buzz and a great atmosphere at both of them which always keeps me going. I remember looking at my stand (once the dreaded imposter syndrome quietened down a little) and felt really proud of all of the hard work I had put in and how much progress I had made since my first fair. I
t looked as I had planned and the many hours and emotional investment was absolutely worth it.
And then both fairs were done! Energy wise, I was also done!
Although I have a few dates in diary where I am exhibiting my work, these are not until December, and after it all being so full on I then found I had very little motivation or energy to keep up this pace. I didn’t fall out of love with drawing or creating, I just needed a break and I needed a rest from not only the work, but also the constant juggle. I struggled with this a little as I love to be busy so it took a bit of an adjustment. I came to the realisation that as I was my own boss it was actually ok to take a bit of time off.
I felt like I needed to process the recent art fairs so that I could plan the next stage but couldn’t as I felt ‘faired-out’. I also needed catch up on all the work and life admin that had built up whilst I had been so focused on preparing for the fairs and I desperately wanted to spend time with my family where I wasn’t squeezing in work at every opportunity.
I’ve said before how lucky I feel to be able to do what I do and be around for my kiddies. But at the same time its a big balance as there are no set hours, my home is also my work place and I work solo, so I do it all. All of these are positives but they also lead to a blurring of the work/life boundaries.
There is also that underlying pressure (completely self inflicted!) when you are your own boss; if you don’t do it then no one else will. But do you know what? The things that need to get done will, just maybe not right now, and that’s also ok.
So, for the last few weeks I have stepped back from work and social media. I have updated my website and Etsy Shop, exercised, spent time outside, caught up with friends and enjoyed half term and Halloween with my family. It has been exactly what I needed, and I think if I hadn’t recognised I needed a break then it would have taken me longer to get ‘back onto the creative horse’.
It’s because of this rest that I have lots of ideas buzzing around, I am feeling super motivated and very, very excited about creating again. I am no longer sitting at the table trying to find the motivation and inspiration to work. Instead I am itching to start working and creating, planning future events and commissions. It was good to have a break but it’s also good to be back and ready to go! Watch this space……:)